Dear G…

Yesterday you turned 17. You are in grade 12 and after this you will be off to University. This is such an exciting time to be you and I hope this year is wonderful and all of your dreams come true. I remember the last day I saw you. Three years ago you had just turned 14. You and I were sitting with Mabes in the kitchen. We were laughing and talking and I shared stories from when I was young. You have always had the most beautiful smile and I can still see your face as it was that day. It lit up and your eyes laughed along. You are one of the sweetest girls I have ever met in my life. But I remember a time when you just wanted to do what you wanted to do.

Your Mom took you to have pictures taken when you were one year old. Just like I did when she was one. Off to Sears and the little photography studio tucked away in the back. You were pretty good for a bit as the gal snapped and posed and snapped. In time I think you lost complete interest. You turned your back on all of us and the camera and you sat playing with the leaves from the fall scenery. No amount of bribing could move you. You just ignored us all. And so the photographer just took the picture your way. When the proofs came back I fell in love with that picture. That is the one I chose to blow up and frame for my wall at home. I pass by it several times a day and it makes me smile. One year old and already showing the world you had no time for conformity. You were going to do it your way.

I went to a college for grade twelve and the first few days were a bit lonely but it doesn’t take much time to meet people when you live in a dorm. My senior year was a blast. The first week I met quite a few girls in my own dorm and a few in my classes. It was a Lutheran college and so the rules were strict but in dorms as in life, people separated themselves into groups of like minded people. The first weekend there was a get to know you dance and a small band of friends was formed that lasted for years. That has all slipped away for many of us but there are a few I still talk with now and again. That was one of the most fun years of my life. Of course my marks dropped that first semester but I picked it up the next semester. That is normal I think. First year away from home.

The memories I made in that final year of high school I will cherish forever. We followed our hockey team from city to city, showing our school pride. There were parties and dances. Long morning breaks in the coffee house when we learned that the daily chapel service wasn’t mandatory. Racing with a hoodie over pajama tops through the cafeteria, to grab a muffin as you tried to make that 8 a.m. class. I had Math 31 (calculus) Monday, Wednesday and Friday at 8 a.m. Mr. monotone voice did his best to lull us to sleep, as if the subject matter wasn’t enough. My saviour was a young man from China. He helped me with the class and I let him know the when and where of all the parties. It was a very beneficial relationship. My moving away from home was hard for the young man I left behind. We tried but in time my visits home were less and less as my life was filled with new experiences. We broke up in March and in May my broken heart was backpacking in Europe. I still feel a bit of emotion when I hear the song “The Loadout/Stay” from Jackson Brown’s 1977 album Running On Empty. Cam used to play it in his car whenever we said goodbye after a weekend home. But I believe that is how our lives were meant to go.

This is the last year you will feel this incredible sense of innocent freedom. There is the serious side of school and the fun. The mix of friends with home, family, school and sports is seamless and controlled and rolls along like a well oiled machine. Life is full and complete as you speed toward the day you have been heading towards for 12 years. This year will be more and more exciting as you apply to schools, wishing to stay close to friends but feeling the pull of someplace far away. There are the many details that will go into planning your graduation as it marks the biggest accomplishment so far. Grad is an epic time. Cherish the planning with your friends as it is just as wonderful as the day itself. Trust me when I say that life will just become better and better.

This is the launch year. The prep for adulthood. The time when you will be off at school doing your first stint as a semi-grownup. Right now there are still a few guides to keep you out of trouble. Enjoy this time as some of these people will be with you for the rest of your life. Two of my best friends I have know since elementary school. I don’t know how I would have made it these last four years without Bumpa if it wasn’t for them. But there are going to be so many people down the road who will teach you very important lessons. Some will be wonderful and some will hurt more than you could ever imagine. And they will all make you a stronger person just by being in your life. Savour every moment but always take the time to be alone with your thoughts and feelings. Leave nothing unsaid. Say I love you often. Above all, for now… heed the words of Shakespeare. Polonius sends his son Laertes off to University with words of wisdom. His advice ends with “This above all.. To thine own self be true, and it must follow. as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any man. Farewell. My blessing season in thee.” My greatest advice to you is this… Words are powerful. Context even more so. Do not follow unconditionally. Do not lead if you don’t know the way. Take the time to stand on the sidelines and watch when in doubt. That will be your greatest gift to yourself.

As I sit by the window writing, I see the flower bed in the front that we built the spring after you were born. You came to my house every day while your Mom sat with her friend in the hospital for a few hours. You and I built that garden. You couldn’t walk and you mostly ate dirt but it is our garden. One that will always make me think of those spring days when we just sat in the dirt with the sun in our faces. I love you G. More than you will ever know. Happy Birthday.