Who Stole My Harry Nilsson Album?

Now and again I like to sit in my basement with the lights off as I listen to an old album on my stereo. I’m not much of a drinker but I will pour a little crown royal whiskey over some ice as I sway to the tunes in the dark. The stereo is my husbands. He brought it to university with him in 1974. It is still holding up. Some of the levers are bent, (Grandkids) and I am using the last needle we had (also grandkids), but it works. The whiskey is also my husbands. It was a gift for his sixtieth birthday and after his terminal diagnoses many a shot was shared with people in his life. He hadn’t had anything to drink for well over two years but he brought it out to say so long. Since then I keep it for myself. Just a little drink I can have for him as I imagine myself dancing with him. Following his moves. Always afraid I will forget how we moved together.

A few nights ago I was watching a movie and in the background was an old tune I love. The song was “What’ll I Do” by Irving Berlin. I just felt it was a sign that it was time for Rene’ and I to dance. It was five years since he died and I think he was just on my mind. And so, I went looking for the bottle of whiskey. I don’t keep it in my little liquor cabinet. It is special. It isn’t something I want to share with anyone else. It is only for Rene and me. Of course, I couldn’t find it. I know it is in the house somewhere but at that moment in time it was nowhere to be found. What I did find was a bottle of Aalborg Akvavit. And I think that was really what I was meant to find. He meant for me to have a drink with my sister. She passed away a few days before the five year anniversary date of Rene’s death.

When our Mom died we two girls spent days clearing and cleaning Mom’s apartment. We found silly little treasures that made us laugh, notes that made us cry, and a half full bottle of Akvavit hidden in a drawer. Mom didn’t drink. She was a gulper. If you poured her a glass of wine she would down it in a shot. She knew alcohol wasn’t her friend and I only saw her tipsy once in my life and it was cute. Because it was so unusual. And so my sister and I decided to keep the bottle at my house and every time we got together we would make a toast to our Mom. Anne, didn’t drink either but once a year we had a little nip from Mom’s bottle and remembered the woman who gave us life. I had quite a few tears that night as I poured my drink. A solitary toast to the two most important women in my life. The one who gave me life, who protected me and tolerated me as the years went by. The one who loved me more than anyone could ever love someone. My mom. And the girl who wanted a sister so bad she could taste it. Her wish coming true two days after her tenth birthday. She taught me to read. She taught me math. She gave me gold stars on my “homework”. And she used a red pencil to mark my work. She made a paper clock to teach me how to tell time. She sewed a French maid costume the year I was sick at Halloween so I could wear it to hand out candy. She made clothes for my barbie. My big seester. As I sat at the table remembering the past I thanked Rene’ for reminding me of the beautiful memories from my life. And I poured a wee bit more of the “Schnapps” into my shot glass. One for Anne.

But the night was still a dance night and I went downstairs to find my Harry Nilsson album “A Little Touch Of Schmilsson in The Night”. My man Harry was such a talent and this has to be one of my top five favourite albums of all time. I remember the first time I listened to the whole album. I was only twelve years old when it came out and so I didn’t buy it until a few years later. My first foray into the world of Harry Nilsson was the Album “The Point” which was also a movie. My Drama class put on the play in grade eight and we went and performed the play for the elementary school as well as our own school. I fell in love and started to look for Mr. Nilsson’s other albums. I was fifteen when I saw “A Little Touch of Schmilsson in The Night’ at Sam the record man. A local store. I couldn’t wait to bring it home and play it.

Now I was raised on music. Classical, old style folky stuff. The crooners. But also pop and rock from the fifties, sixties and seventies. Having older siblings and progressive music teachers has a way of expanding your horizons. But I was also raised on movies and my childhood was filled with old musicals. This album was an incredible compilation of tunes from my past. Makin’ Whoopee from the musical Whoopee. As Time Goes By which we all know from the Movie Casablanca. Dooley Wilson was Sam the piano player. Bogie never said play it again Sam. He said “You played it for her, you can play it for me”. Oh what a movie. Lazy moon. That was in an old Laurel and Hardy movie. It had to be you. Dooley Wilson did that one as well in Casablance. Diane Keaton, another fave, also performed it in the movie Annie Hall. But the best is the movie “When Harry met Sally”. That was full culmination of everyone I love. Rob Reiner. Nora Ephron. Harry Koenig Jr. And of course Billy Crystal and Meg Ryan. But the song I needed to hear on that particular night was “What’ll I do”. Written by Irving Berlin it was performed by everyone. Frank Sinatra. Nat King Cole and of course Harry Nilsson. I headed to the basement.

Now I keep my albums in alphabetical order. But then again my ADHD makes me change the criteria for sorting now and again. So I look in the “H” category and find nothing and then searched the “N” group. Yeah there he is in all his glory. But wait. Where is the Album? It is missing. It’s gone. My heart does a little flutter. Years ago when reorganizing albums I noticed three Led Zeppelin albums missing. My heart was broken. I had purchased them in my teens and they were part of my past, my life, my very soul. My hubby found them on-line for me. He even tried to make sure they were Canadian pressings so they would be more authentic to the originals. I started ripping the albums out right from the beginning. I went through each and every one. I have a lot of albums. My heart sank as I failed to find it and I just felt sick. This album was just like the Led Zep 4 I bought. I almost wore them both out in the first few days I owned them. They were so overplayed that I knew all of the songs off by heart. That same feeling came as I sat and cried on the basement floor. Why was everything taken away? Why? Who would take it? It would never mean as much to them as it did to me. Never. As I got a grip I started to clean up my mess and finally went into the music room. I sat at the keyboard and pecked out the tune while I sang a little under my breath. I looked over at the big picture of Rene’ hanging amongst the albums. Smiling at me with that sparkle in his eyes. And there on the wall to his right was my album. That beautiful album cover with all of it’s hidden meanings. I laughed at myself. I have quite a few of my favourite albums hanging in special frames throughout the music room. The relief I felt was so strange. As I pulled it off the wall and made my way back to the tv room I felt his eyes on me and I knew somewhere he was laughing. I dimmed the lights and let the needle fall and I started to sway to the music. Its when I feel him the most. Moving with me, holding me close, singing softly in my ear. I cry a little as the words surround me. It’s been five years. Sometimes it feels like it’s been forever. But tonight it feels brand new like you were here yesterday. But you weren’t.

What’ll I do when you are far away and I am blue, what’ll I do

What’ll I do when I am wond’ring who is kissing you, what’ll I do

What’ll I do with just a photograph to tell my troubles to

When I am alone with dreams of you that won’t come true, what’ll I do

Thank you Harry. You too Irving…