The UPS Doesn’t Come By Anymore…

A delivery truck just stopped by my neighbours house to deliver a package. I suddenly had a feeling of loss. Sadness. Tears welling in my eyes. It has been so long since a package has been delivered to my house. Suddenly I am missing my husband and a cry session follows.

I don’t shop online. In fact I don’t shop much at all. I am that weirdo who buys things second hand at consignment stores or chotchky homemade stuff at craft sales. My husband was the online guy. When our daughter spent three years living in Las Vegas he used her address for items that couldn’t be shipped directly to Canada. Here at home, things were delivered weekly as he spent hours looking up bargains on the internet. Packages left on our doorstep was a common sight when we arrived home. It became a running joke. What did he buy today?

Years ago, the diamond fell out of my engagement ring. I was larger than on my wedding day and I couldn’t get the ring off. I still wore it without the diamond for over a year. I didn’t want to get it cut off. I might lose weight. False hope I know. Finally after snagging the ring on everything, I had it cut off. Of course, the wedding band was attached to the engagement ring and so they both sat with the diamond in an envelope in my dressing room. For quite awhile I didn’t wear a ring until one day the UPS man brought yet another package. It was a wedding band. It was used, bought online. It was tri-gold with a very feminine design. It actually matched the wedding ring he had picked out for himself when we got married. It bothered him that I didn’t wear a ring. I put it on and it fit perfectly. The other ring still sits safely in the envelope with the diamond.

Clothes, jewellery, a movie, books, shoes. Lots of funky things have come to me by the UPS guy. My hubby was so different from me but he knew me well and it showed in the things he bought. Just knowing I would love something he picked out. He bought himself so many things as well. His little room with the lazy boy and TV is full of things that came by delivery. Mainly sports paraphernalia adorn the walls. We called it “The Dads Room”. It is bursting at the seams with his most treasured items. Very little has changed on the walls of his man cave. The signed picture of Sid the Kid went to our oldest Grandson one birthday after his Papa died, and the space was filled by Don Cherry, whose signed picture had been relegated to a closet once Sid came into my hubby’s life. It’s hard to think about changing this room of his.

My truck was stolen one evening after returning home late from the cabin. I had been spring cleaning and it was packed to the brim with lots of giveaways but also stuff I was too lazy to bring into the house. I was tired. It was a long day and a long drive. I wanted a cup of tea, the hot tub and bed. The shock of the missing truck didn’t hit right away. In time, as I listed the missing items, I was so sad. The biggest disappointment was mainly the 8 CD’s that were in the CD changer. One was by Pokey LaFarge who my husband absolutely loved. We played one of his funniest songs at the funeral. The sound tech asked a few times if the choice was a mistake. But also there was a Jeff Beck CD, Truth, that had been in the truck for years. There was a bonus song that wasn’t on the original album. Hi Ho Silver Lining. It was a favourite of mine but also after 2018. a silly reminder of the cross Canada trip we took on our motorbikes. The freedom. The fun. The flat tires. Our last trip.

Not only were my CD’s gone but the guy who would have tracked them down for me was also gone. The man who hunted out the three Led Zeppelin albums that were stolen from my record collection. And not just any albums. He found Canadian releases. Used albums. Not new and remastered. It cost him a pretty penny but once again the UPS guy brought thoughtful gifts. So here I was, crying over CD’s that most people didn’t even own anymore. But I got to work. It took awhile, and trust me it cost a bit as well, but I managed to track down seven of the eight CD’s. Some new but a few used. Just happy to have found them. Each day I waited for the deliveries. Wondering if these on-line vendors were legit. Ripping the packages open to inspect the CD’s. Listening to each song just to make sure the whole CD worked. Somehow this was a fitting end to the deliveries. I was going to be just fine. And Jeff’s words will always bring me back to a special time and place. Oh, and that last CD? I was at the farmers market this summer and there was a guy singing and selling his CD’s. Suddenly, I remembered. It was his CD that was the eighth. I bought it. The circle was complete.

You’re everywhere and nowhere baby, that’s where you’re at. Going down a bumpy hillside, in your hippy hat

Flying across the country, and getting fat. Saying everything is groovy, when your tires are flat

And its hi ho silver lining, and away you go now baby. I see your sun is shining, but I won’t make a fuss, though it’s obvious.

Thanks Jeff…