Taps On The Shoulder

From the moment we are born, we are learning. Whether it is speech, movement or understanding the world around us, we learn through mimicry as well as through feedback. Sometimes we don’t even understand that we are learning. We just stumble through life blissfully unaware and in time our behaviours change, often subconsciously.

When my youngest daughter had twin boys, my son remarked how privileged we were to watch them grow and develop. Multiple births show us a different view on learning. Watching these two littles has been quite a different experience than other grandkids. It really comes down to the comparisons we make as we watch them develop. As the Grandmother, my exposure is not a daily thing so when I remark to their Mom on their personalities or general styles, she often tells me tales that show the opposite of my initial observations. But then again, she sees them every day and is more in tune to their individual needs and wants. I can tell you though, that these two boys are complete opposites in some ways and in others, you couldn’t find more similar kids.

So here we have the two babes learning from parents and older siblings as well as the environment around hem. Their social outlets, educational experiences and such. But they learn so much about life and dealing with problems and emotions just from their interaction with each other. They are in tune with each other some days and others, they are beating the crap out of each other. It has been such a joy watching not just them, but their siblings as they grow and learn. My oldest brothers are twins and there is a unique relationship between them that the rest of us don’t share with them or each other. Their lives were interwoven in many ways and yet over time their paths diverged completely. But their friendship continued and endured even as life’s hurdles became harder and harder to jump.

Growing up as well as growing older takes a lot of thinking sometimes as we try our best to make the right choices. Even with limited knowledge we try and do what is best or deemed right by society. Sometimes we fail which can lead to growth if we study the failure. Other times we can abandon what might have been a wonderful opportunity due to prior failure. I think it is important to understand that giving up is sometimes the best choice in our lives. Banging your head against the wall isn’t productive and some of our goals just may not be the right thing at this particular moment. We truly feel we are in control of our lives but as we navigate and try to make informed decisions, we often realize there is no way we can know everything we need to know in order to do what is right. Every decision creates a fork in the road. Regardless of the path we chose there will be ups and downs. Expecting everything to always turn out right isn’t a reasonable expectation. Because, shit happens. Sometimes we are so afraid of failure that we are frozen when it comes to decision making. Not choosing is also a choice, as I paraphrase the words of the band Rush.

The thing is, we all have some form of intuition. Denying gut feelings or consciously thinking our way through life isn’t always the best. It certainly doesn’t always mean we will arrive at the best possible solution. Throughout my life I have received what I like to call taps on the shoulder. Not a literal tap, but a sort of Aha moment. Recognizing these moments and learning to trust the message I receive, has allowed me to truly learn from life. More importantly, they have allowed me to find peace as well. While I used to think these taps were some outside cosmic higher power helping me to navigate the world, I have since learned that they are actually reminders that the best answers in life’s conundrums are actually the simplest. In other words, Occam’s razor. This is a philosophical principal which is attributed to William of Ockham, and yet his writings apparently don’t show any evidence. That doesn’t matter. Many philosophers after William expanded on the concept in many ways. The point is, simple is usually best.

Now, although I have learned to trust these taps in my decision making life I have also leaned, as I aged and matured, that the cosmic forces are not really in play. Rather, throughput life, my experiences have been stored in my brain, almost always without thinking. It is this superhuman computing ability of the human brain that swirls around my issues, pulls billions of relevant pieces of information from my brain, applies it to my problem and boom… the lightbulb goes off and my subconscious taps me on the shoulder and says “It’s not that complicated stupid.” And really, it isn’t. It seems as if the more we concentrate on our lives and our identities, the more anxious we become. One of the greatest lessons I have ever learned is that as human beings, we are a group of eight plus billion unique and individual bodies. However, we are all part of a collective consciousness. Our energies are all part of a larger and more meaningful cosmic relationship. We are all connected through this energy an have been since the beginning. The big Bang Theory is not just the name of a television show. It is the concept of everything created from nothing. That one massive event from which we all were created. And when we leave this world our bodies return to the earth and our energy is returned to the universe.

Watching the twins navigate through life I think they are so blessed to have this little clone that travels with them. A built in soulmate. One who teaches them how to negotiate emotions whole they deal with their everyday circumstances. Someone who is both an enemy and a friend. But in both instances, one they can trust because their energies are actually more in line with each other that we can imagine. It goes beyond simple friendship or brotherhood. It is the daily exposure to one with whom they have shared to most. As these little guys grow up, they will feel a deeper trust in the universe as their greatest teacher is someone that shares in their daily highs and lows. It is a beautiful thing to watch.

There is an increased tendency in society to hide away from the world. Protect ourselves from slights and hurts, which are often created by our own minds. Gone are the days of trying to protect ourselves from physical harm in the wild. Now we must create the fears in order to give our tired brains something to combat. This actually leads us further and further into the fear zone causing stress and anxiety which gives our conscious brains something to deal with. We create anger and division and fear because we need something to occupy our brains. But it doesn’t have to be this way. With practice we can teach ourselves to let go. Stop overthinking. Forget about tomorrow. Sit in silence and reflect on the blessing that the chance of you existing is unimaginable. Find joy in the fact that you are connected to over 8 billion people whose energy is affecting our universe whether it is a positive or negative experience. Know that you can influence this world through the energy. Allow your subconscious mind guide you. When the world seems out of control, don’t embrace the negativity. Be still. Be quiet. Quiet your thoughts and find gratitude in your heart. Then open your heart and let the energy flow out. Trust your inner voice. Life doesn’t have to be hard. We make it hard. We try to control every bit of every day in our lives and in the lives of those around us And the problem is we just can’t control our environment. It has a life of its own. It is every changing and growing. It is the world.

But the answer is simple. When life is too much, clear your mind. Sit with your eyes closed and wait for that tap on the shoulder. When we remove the clutter things are so much clearer. And when the tap comes, you will feel a sense of peace as you let go and trust. That peace will feed you but it will also exude from you and join this collective cosmic energy. And bit by bit the world will be a better place. The tap is a reminder that we over think and at is never a good thing. It males us doubt and create fear and anxiety. We seek out the negative. And when we vocalize the thoughts and opinions of self doubt and fear we diminish the beautiful light that shines in us all. We throw it out into the universe to contaminate others. Sometimes I have to be patient with myself. I put problems aside and go through my days with as much joy as I can find. I recognize that I just don’t have the answers. I have learned that letting the universe deal with life allows me to just be calm. To enjoy. To be happy. So now I wait for the taps on the shoulder that point me in a new direction. Maybe not the best or perfect direction, but a new direction. No matter what happens, that new path will teach me. And I have learned that trust in myself is only good if myself stops and listens.