Label Consciousness

Years ago I was looking for the perfect purse. I had an idea of what it would be like. Smaller, black, zip open with lots of card slots. I also wanted a separate compartment that zipped at the top and on the outside front was a pocket compartment with easy access for my cell phone. One day I was walking through the Bay and there it was. My perfect purse. I was overjoyed. But the price? Well that didn’t bring any joy, but I sucked it up and bought the purse. About the same time I was on the board of a Hockey Association. During one of the meetings I had my purse beside my notes on the table in front of me. The woman beside me gave me a little poke and nodded towards the purse. “That cost you quite a bit, didn’t it” was her whispered comment. I smiled a half hearted smile and as I turned away I wondered about her comment. Later on after the meeting, she admired the purse again. She recognized the name on the purse which apparently was an expensive brand. Now, I’m not really a brand person so the entire encounter was strange to me. Who knew there were people who knew so much about brand names and their prices. She seemed to see me in a different light after that little encounter. In her eyes I was elevated to a higher social level. How strange.

That was almost thirty years ago. Label consciousness is alive and well today. It encompasses more than our clothes or cars and other personal items. It has become even more pronounced in the areas of travel, dining, experiences and social activities and of course where you live. Mind you the location of the area we live in has always been a class thing. Wrong side of the tracks and all. Label consciousness isn’t just about labels anymore. Social media has taken it to a new art form. Way back when, people spent money on physical items which showed the labels or company logo. It was a way for people to let others know what they spent. Our accessories became status symbols. It became fashionable to wear our money. Cars are bought not just for their functionality but for status. Now, I am not in an income level where I could truly buy status. I am more of a bargain hunter. Second hand stores and upcycling clothes is more my thing. My car is 24 years old. I live in the first house I ever bought. I make bread and grow a large garden. I eat mainly at home. And yet, I have been known to splurge in many ways. I love live entertainment. Opera. Plays. The Philharmonic. Concerts. Ballet. Dinner theatre. You name it. I love it. And it can cost quite a bit. For me, life is to be lived and enjoyed. Not for others. But for myself. It is normal to compare our life situations to others. Before the internet and social media, we compared ourselves to the people around us. Our communities. I was small town raised and it was apparent some had more money, but I was in my teens when I realized that many lived modestly when they were actually quite wealthy. In fact, some of the people who appeared to have the most, were those who could least afford it. Now, don’t get me wrong. You do you boo. Live life your way. What I would recommend though is one question. Do my possessions make me happy? Or is the admiration of others what is doing it for me?

These days travel is a big part of what I would call being label conscious. When I was young and we went to Denmark, it was to see family. My parents had limited funds and so our European trips weren’t what I would call travel. It was a budget vacation. Staying with relatives and visiting. Oh we saw some sights but the main reason for trips was family. My parents are the only two in their families to come to Canada and as a result all cousins and Aunts and Uncles are in Denmark. Huge trips like that weren’t taken very often. They were planned for quite some time. And of course saved for. Today it isn’t unusual for people to take multiple overseas trips in a year. One of my granddaughters was in Hawaii 5 times by the time she was 11 months old. Apparently that was where my daughters family needed to go to destress. My neighbours daughter and her family go to every Olympics. They always have gold medal tickets for a multitude of sports. Seems like any sporting championship that comes along is on their agenda. Superbowl, World Series. You name it, they are there. It wasn’t a surprise to hear they were in Italy for the most recent Olympics. Another acquaintance had three trips to Europe on year. Yet another flew to other cities 5 times one year for concerts as well as two European trips and one to New York. I am not on social media, but I hear things from my daughter. Part of me wonders though. Is the purpose for enjoyment or is it for the ‘Gram.

I put in a new kitchen 14 years ago. I hate it. It is my third kitchen in this house. Very ultramodern. Sleek, built-in everything, cool. And yet the rest of my house is extremely old fashioned. Oak trim. Rooms. No open concept. My daughter once commented on how different the kitchen was from the rest of the house. And I loved it. It was so efficient and clean looking. So different from my personality yet tiny and modern, reminding me of Denmark. Over time little things went wrong. My built in coffee maker was repaired for a lot of money. Then it needed another repair. It would have been cheaper to buy a new one. The new one was unfortunately an incher higher. Wouldn’t fit. The fridge hinge is not working properly. I can’t seem to find a new one. The white tiles and white grout are impossible to keep clean. All because I fell in love with a look in a store. Now I scheme about the next kitchen. I am thinking a more 1950’s look. But people join trends. They buy old homes and renovate them to look modern. If we don’t modernize or can’t afford it sometimes we feel a bit left behind. Old post war homes are bulldozed and two modern houses are built covering almost the entire plot of land. The perfect place to live a perfect life behind closed doors. Homes, furniture, decorating. Do we do what we love because of our own desires to be unique. Follow our own path or is it another form of label consciousness. Poring over pictures. Looking on the internet for ideas. What colours are in this year? I don’t know. What colour do you like? Last weekend I helped my granddaughter paint her room. I mentioned that the colours are often darker on the wall than what the sample indicated. She picked a colour and boy is it blue. But it is beautiful. And she loves it. And now she and her Mom will decorate it her way. It will be a perfect statement of her personality. Not something she needs approval for.

Now although I don’t quite understand the “influencer” generation, I recognize that in many ways it is just an extension of something that already existed. You can find any number of accounts where women are shown how to apply make up properly. Well, back in my day you went to a department store and could get free makeovers at the beauty counters. Higher end clothing stores helped us put together outfits. Today people can give advice online on how to dress. We used to go to travel agents to plan trips. They put together the packages. Now people travel and post about it. Their opinions help us make decisions. There are accounts where restaurants are critiqued and the food is displayed and opinions are espoused by the followers. Years ago every newspaper had a food critic that struck fear in any restaurant that was reviewed. Lifestyle coaches and personal trainers were a thing when I was young. I went to personal trainers over the years as a check-in or motivational process. The only difference that the internet and social media has made in many areas is the ease of finding information. We don’t have to leave the house like back in the “olden” days. And frankly it is wonderful that I can find a you-tube video that can give me advice on DIY projects or recipes or sewing. The problems come from those who just get greedy. Or lose sight of their audiences needs. Finding the right influencer is important no matter what you are looking for. Do they truly have something to offer? Are they qualified in the chosen area or just interested. Is this their career, where their content is not just opinion. Or do they just want the followers for the sake of ego stroking. Are they just another ordinary person who needs validation and seeks it from the wrong place. I watched a video once where a guy was sowing how to build a retaining wall. He didn’t wear gloves or eye and ear protection although he was using power saws. His comment was that he had been doing it for a long time and so he did not feel the need for these safety features. In his mind he was comfortable in his ability to NOT make dangerous errors. In my mind he was an idiot. I found another video.

I have very specific tastes. In every area of my life. When it comes to clothes I have a definite style. An eclectic mashup of boho/yogaesque/indian/natural fibre/recycled and used. I love to buy oversized used clothing for the material and make something new. As for travel, my preferred form is driving. I love road trips. Car or motorcycle. Yet I am a bit of a home body. I am not the person who takes group trips. It is too much for me and not enjoyable. I prefer travel to be spontaneous and unplanned. I love reading and movies and gardening is my one true love. Pretty much all of the things I enjoy in life can be solo enterprises. I think the main reason is because I love the idea of getting up in the morning and deciding how the day will go. I attribute this to my need for freedom. People and planning become a burden. If the effort to do something is too great eventually the joy is taken out of the experience. An impromptu walk along the river is so peaceful. If a friend joins, it becomes even more enjoyable. Planning a walk is sometimes a bit much. Which I think is why so many older people become more and more solitary. We tend to be less concerned about what is in. We have nothing to prove. We aren’t very interested in the opinions of others. We find comfort and security in the familiar. In fact we stop looking outside for approval and look inside for peace and calm that comes from doing what we enjoy most. Of course this isn’t just old people. Various generations find that the label conscious world is not for them. They live life quietly without proclamations. They tune into the joy that comes from doing things their own way. You know. Like Frank. In fact some of them paint their room bright blue. I was very fortunate to have parents who allowed me to be me. Their early influence, mainly Mom, showed me what was truly important. It wasn’t what others thought. It was what I thought. She was an odd duck and often commented that she sometimes felt other women dismissed her. She was probably right. But those that dismissed her truly missed out on knowing one of the smartest women I knew.

I guess the one thing I have learned through this long life is that every comes in cycles. Clothes for example. In my life I have owned a scrunchy Indian cotton skirt three times. Hairstyles. I overcurled my hair one day a few years ago and brushed it to loosen the curls. All of a sudden I was sporting the Farrah hair I had in the 1970’s. I had the same haircut just styled different. Home styles. My community was started in the 1950’s. Those homes are very post war small compact style. The community expanded in the mid 1960’s and those homes are all one story bungalows with some vinyl cladding and old style stucco. The 1970’s brought an expansion. Those newly built homes have a very mountain feel with dark wood siding. Since then some homes have been torn down or renovated. And even those changes are consistent with the times they were completed. Pink California stucco while cool at the time looks dated now. Even interiors. Homes in my neighbourhood are remodeled and updated and sold. The pictures are very like those of a new build. Very ultra modern. White. Sterile. But now I see that trends are going back to the earth tones. Color. Terra cotta is the rage. Very much the style revival from the 1920’s and 1930’s. I guess this just has proven to me that I should have stuck with a style. But when I look at my clothes, jeans for example I have range. The baggy jeans with tons of multicolor patches. The skinny jeans with black lace and beaded design. The low waist tight but flared white jeans. The high waist dark blue boot cut jeans. The baggy mid blue wide legged pants we called elephant pants in the mid 1960’s. The black jeans with holes in the knees.

I change my house often even if it is just a lick of paint. I find comfort in the familiar and so the furniture doesn’t change much. But I also get bored and so now and then I ruthlessly discard what doesn’t bring me joy. And I think that really should be the ultimate goal in life. What brings us joy? If it is the labels we chose in order to feel good then I say go and do it. Travel, clothes, possessions, cars, experiences. If it brings personal joy that spreads through all the way to your toes, by all means embrace it. But if the joy dissipates or the there is a feeling of unrest or dissatisfaction when others “appear” to be living a better best life, well maybe it is time for a little introspection. You don’t have to chase joy. It will come naturally when your choices and actions serve you. Not others.